自己定义好自己的成功

16/5/9

阿兰·德波顿：一种更宽容，更温和的成功哲学

今天在自习室输入了很多“变”才锁定了这个演讲。

这个演讲指出了三个对工作有压力的原因，Job snobbery，Envy, Meritocracy。

我觉得没本事的人会容易Envy，有本事的人，压力比较像来自于Meritocracy这种心理，的确没必要过分地对自己要求太高，可以放慢一点脚步，走着走着，总会走到的，不用急于一时，因为大家也都是一步一步走过去的，没有谁会飞着抵达，既然如此，也不要在走的过程中，因为挫败而削减对自己的信心。

自己定义好自己的成功，到底什么才是你自己专属的成功，有了那样的概念以后，一步一个脚印地走，不去攀比速度，而去挑战持久，那样的话，就可以轻轻松松地玩着到达自己的目标。

专属的成功

学习句子

It's perhaps harder than ever before to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety

why we might be feeling anxiety about our careers.

we're weeping softly into our pillows

Snobbery is a global phenomenon; we are a global organization,

A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you, and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are

job snobbery
the opposite of a snob is your mother.

that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers and indeed start caring so much about material goods

It's not the material goods we want; it's the rewards we want

It's a new way of looking at luxury goods. The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari, don't think, "This is somebody who's greedy." Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love.

it's paradoxical, because it's linked to something that's rather nice, is the hope we all have for our careers.

Envy,
it's linked to the spirit of equality
when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them

So there's a spirit of equality combined with deep inequality,

It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets, that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology, a garage -- you, too, could start a major thing.

in bookshops
self-help sections
there are basically two kinds.
The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything's possible!"
The other kind tells you how to cope with what we politely call "low self-esteem," or impolitely call, "feeling very bad about yourself."

correlation between a society that tells people that they can do anything, and the existence of low self-esteem

meritocracy
A meritocratic society is one in which, if you've got talent and energy and skill, you will get to the top, nothing should hold you back.

There's a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser, and that shows 400 years of evolution in society and our belief in who is responsible for our lives. It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat.

individualistic countries，people take what happens to them extremely personally，they own their success, but they also own their failure

Is there any relief from some of these pressures？

it's insane to believe that we will ever make a society that is genuinely meritocratic; it's an impossible dream.

There are simply too many random factors: accidents, accidents of birth, accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc

what someone's true value is. That is an unknown part of them,

success and failure.
we think we know what it means

Here's an insight that I've had about success: You can't be successful at everything.
work-life balance. Nonsense

define what we want and how we view ourselves

When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession, a lot of us want to go into banking. When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking.

we should give up on our ideas of success
but we should make sure that they are our own.
We should focus in on our ideas,
and make sure that we own them; that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions.

Let's probe away at our notions of success
Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own.